Saying Hello

You'd think that the longer you've lived in another country, the easier life would be.

Don't get me wrong, life is certainly easier in many ways but it seems like the easier some things become, the more you realize where you're going wrong.

We're both at the point where we are very comfortable living in French. My big complaint tonight is that my brain has been 'thinking' in English for the last couple of days, which tends to get me into the middle of French sentences where the only way out is in English. And having to translate everything that comes in and goes out means that you're always about ten steps behind the conversation that is already moving too fast for you.

But that's not the point.

One of the big things I've recently become aware of is the need to say 'bonjour' any time you enter any space that is occupied by people.

My initial (and Erik's too) reaction upon entering a space occupied by two or more people involved in a private conversation is to be as discreet at possible so as not to interrupt them. I've finally realized that the French consider this reaction much more rude than to walk in with a booming 'bonjour!' for everyone in the room.

Realizing this, however, does not make it an easy habit to break.

And the French are quite good at 'discreetly' pointing out that you've committed a huge faux pas.

On one of my field trips last week, I approached one of the museum staff (who was on a cigarette break with two other employees--maybe that was my mistake? :) ) like this--

Me: Excusez moi, mais ou sont les toilettes? (I have two four year olds doing the pee-pee dance next to me, so am clearly pressed for time and not interested in making small talk)

Her: Bonjour! (with obvious pause for me to insert my sorry-ass late greeting and acknowledge my poor upbringing*, tsk tsk)

She then directed me to the washrooms with a sneer and an eyeroll. It doesn't phase me too much with strangers, but with people that I see on a regular basis, I often wonder if I'm seriously offending people, or making myself seem unfriendly by not barging into a room with greetings, kisses** and conversation for all, which is very much not my personality.

So what to do? My goal for now is to work on the bonjours. Hopefully the kisses and conversation will come naturally after that....

*for the record, I don't want to imply that I've been poorly brought up. The reference here is mainly to mean 'non-French'

**by kisses I mean the 'bisous' (kiss on each cheek) that the French usually do when greeting one another.